This semester, I studied online dating. I was open to trying it and seeing how it affected other women. In the end, I’ve chosen to not online date. It’s a personal choice. I have friend who are really into it and that’s awesome; it’s just not my cup of tea. I really enjoyed getting to tell different online dating stories through different mediums such as audio and video. I was able to talk about the convenience, disasters, and overall shenanigans that come with online dating in each piece. I think my favorite piece was my audio story. I went into it not knowing how the interview was going to go; I don’t know Emma very well. In the end, she said some really amazing things about Tinder and the misogyny that is present.
Working Title: Layla and Blank
Layla and (insert name of guy she goes on date with) is a short doc where I follow my friend Layla on a Tinder date. At the end of the date I will ask Layla and her date questions about how the date went and whether Tinder is really the best way to meet people.
-Layla getting ready for the date.
-Shots of the commute to the date.
-Shots of Layla and the guy meeting for the first time.
-Wide shot of date.
-Interviews of Layla and her date.
-Exterior shots of restaurant or park. (date location)
-Shots of Layla leaving the date.
-Shots of the guy leaving the date.
-Dings when Layla says something positive about the date.
-Maybe dramatic music during the date.
November 14, 2015
3 P.M.- Meet Layla to get ready for the date.
5 P.M. –Meet date.
5-6 P.M. – Shoot the date.
6-7 P.M. – Ask Layla and Date questions.
Sally Stroud- Camera
For my Audio/Photo Slideshow I plan to interview a few different women. I will mainly focus on my friend Sabrina, but ask a few others questions as well. The subject of the slideshow will be how women are treated on dating sites based only on their outward appearance. For example, Sabrina has been called out by men because they assume she’ll do certain sexual favors for them just because a couple of her Tinder pictures feature her wearing a bikini.
I really want to get into the topic of why men think women dress for them and how that makes men act on online dating sites. If men truly believe women are allowed to dress as they please, why do some men call women out based on clothing or appearance?
I plan on shooting girls in outfits they feel comfortable in; outfits they might wear on a date. I will also use screenshots of the conversations Sabrina has had with these men. I hope to use some upbeat empowering music and maybe even sounds of catcallers.
Tinder, OkCupid, Grindr, oh my. It’s 2015 and according to Aziz Anzari’s June 13 article in The New York Times, “How To Make Online Dating Work,” a study from 2005-2012 showed that nearly one third of couples who are married met on an online dating site. My question: Why? Why do so many people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender decide to turn to online dating rather than just talking to someone?
In hopes to find an answer, I asked the students of Marymount Manhattan College why they online date to try and get a generalized answer to my question. I walked the halls and found friends of mine and was not surprised when I found that at least two thirds of the people I talked to were active on at least one online dating sight. The answer I got from students was quite different than I expected. The general consensus? Online dating is a convenient way to date, making it easy to talk to someone without the fear of rejection.
“Everyone loves attention,” senior Mary Lou Lalu says. Senior Rodolfo Soto said, “Online dating is a huge boost for my ego.” He beamed sort of ashamed as he said this. Soto explained that he is usually scared to talk to a pretty girl across a room, but if he sees one he likes on Tinder and it’s a match, he is okay with saying “Hey, you’re cute” without feeling the fear of rejection. The stakes of rejection in online dating aren’t as high as the stakes in real life, making it easier for college students to handle.
In addition to using online dating as a rejection buffer, students at Marymount all had something to say about how convenient online dating is. “I can sit in my pajamas at home and swipe right or left,” junior Michael Samhat says, sitting comfortably in criss cross applesauce on the top of a chair in Starbucks. Many students expressed that online dating made sense to them because of how easy it is.
Still, how do we really know if someone is being real on an online dating website. Many of the students I talked to hinted at the shallowness of online dating. Senior Layla Hansen said, “It’s really very superficial.” This word came up a lot in my interviews. This begs the question: If online dating is easy and there’s less of a feeling of rejection, is the superficiality of it all really worth it? Most students seem to think so.
Senior Lindsay Green says she swipes for someone that looks genuine saying, “I know, like, what does a genuine person look like?” What does genuine dating look like? Is it shying away from actually walking up to someone in a bar and hiding behind a screen? Most of the students I met with said that they are online dating to date casually, but for a real romance, is online dating really a solution seeing as the average college student won’t say things in real life that he or she would say online?
I propose that as college students we put down our iPhones and quit swiping for at least a week and try and talk to someone as if we were talking to them on Tinder. Just try it. See what happens. Sparks may not fly, disasters may happen, but could it lead to something real?
Rough Ideas for News Story- Online Dating
– First research is I’ve re-downloaded my apps to try them out again. Still not crazy about them. Bumble is super sexist because the girl has to chat first.
– Perspective interviewees
o Friends that have online dated.
o Maybe a random survey of people that have online dated to gather random data about their experiences (especially apps for LGBTQ like Grindr since I’m straight).
o If I’m lucky enough I could ask guys on Tinder and other sites what they like or don’t about it.
o Friends I have that are in relationships because of online dating.
o Why do you online date?
o What is the best/worst thing that has happened while online dating?
o What effects does online dating have on your self-esteem?
o What makes you swipe left/right or talk to a person online?
o Do you actually go on dates?
o What is your weirdest date story from someone you met online?
o If I find controversial things in my research I’ll ask people what they think about them.
– Websites for research
– Research Notes
o By 2009 22 percent of couples met online. That’s 1/5.
o NY Times says give everyone a fair chance. Even if they aren’t your type. It also says we value things like tastes and preferences in a relationship over success and income.
o The daily beast article talks about running into people you know on online dating sites. That would be an interesting thing to explore in my article.
– Overall Rough structure
o I want my article to start strong with some statistics about online dating and then jump into why we do it and the negative impact it can have on our self-esteems.